AUTOBIOGRAPHY

When I was in age of eight, I loved to spend the time nearby mother of mine. Therefore, I tried to watch TV together, in time of relaxation, or to play there silently if I couldn’t follow the program. Exactly this has happened in the case of popular black and white movie Dr. Shivago, with Omar Sharif and Sofia Lorain who played in main roles. Because the mother of mine the days long waited impatiently for the film to start, I was curious to watch it together, to out figure why does she liked it. The movie started and I was committed to watch it in order to get the information about what my ma likes, but I couldn’t keep attention so long, cause the film was boring. After half an hour, I started to play silently without any toy, just managing my own attention and wandering. Then after some time, I’ve decided to involve some toys in game of mine, but I stayed in room, close to my ma, being related to here emotionally all the time long. Then, after the movie finished, I’ve notified that the mother of mine cries.

- Why do you crying?

- This is because of the movie.

- Why are you sad? Was the movie bad?

- No, I’m not sad. I’m crying because the movie was good, therefore I’m touched.

Hmmmm… I got the information, but however I couldn’t understand it completely, thus I just accepted it as is and tried to console the mother of mine silently.

Few months later, when I was in holyday at the countryside, dear cousin of mine, the daughter of the brother of the mother of mine, teenage girl ten years older then me, tuck care about me gladly. She reacted to my emotional giving being very sensitive, and giving me back with love. Therefore, she spent gladly here time with me. I was related to mother of mine, as well as to all women I’ve met along my childhood, trying to find the way to come closer to them and to do not disturb them simultaneously, the far I could manage that. My mother was the youngest child of nine in total, which all together already had three children each. Therefore I have a lot of older cousins and could visit them alternately, the far I felt to bothering them or that they have to do something else. Since I was reasonable and sensitive boy, although young, they could explain this to me in advance, either loud or silently, so there was no place for conflicts and pains. I loved all of them very much because of that, but some of them slightly more since we’ve matched emotional resonance exchange. The relationships remained till recently, although I haven’t get chance to visit them regularly or in some cases at all.

At this summer holyday the movie Dr. Shivago repeated again, the sister of mine expected impatiently similar to mother of mine days long for movie to start, thus I’ve decided to try to watch it together again, till the end this time. But, what a wonder, the situation repeated again. I just couldn’t keep attention longer then half an hour, starting to play silently, stopping watching the movie exactly at the same place as last time. I was aware of this matter of fact, first along next days, cause I’ve analysed what has happened there and have compared the both similar cases to each another. And, what a wonder, my dear sister started to cry after the movies end, similar as the mother of mine. And, I asked here why is she crying, and she answered to me that, she cries because the movie was good. I got first time in my life the experience of dejavu, repeating the known situation in details in advance, so I stoped to ask further more, and just tried to console here silently.

Then I knew somehow that women are reacted similar to each other. Next time the movie repeated, and father of mine watched it together with mother of mine, I could see that she has cried at the end of the movie again, but the father doesn’t cries at all, so I’ve became aware of different reactions depend on gender. I stopped to try to watch this movie at all, and I’ve never saw it completely, but I knew certainly that it is very good movie, especially for women.

After this experience, one of older sisters of mine asked me what should I be when I grow up. After I’ve answered the doctor of medication, she joked and commented that I’m probably going to specialize genecology, cause I have so nice long fingers… I was young boy and I’ve shamed, getting the red chicks, exactly as she wanted to be. I loved her, and I’m still doing so all the time long.

Of these reasons, I’ve decided to get pseudonym Dr. Shiva-Go, to express my hidden musical talents globally, and to provide in certain way healing and support to all women worldwide, if they want, need, and may lough a lot. Mail gender men are of course also welcome to enjoy, to be affected and pooled up to lough with love, the far the resonance case occurs. Some patience should be invested to match the whole particular expression of each song or performance, regardless how long it lasts.

Considering symbolical meaning of the nickname, Dr. Shiva-Go could be translated as Dr. Shiva Naked, active masculine element in Shiva-Shakti, Linga-Yoni relationship, which is well known as sexual relationship of Holy Ghost who is trespassing thus penetrating through the whole Holy Matter in every moment of existence, enjoying in making Love as the lovers do, have done and are going to do, in united past-present-future in eternal now. In this way Dr. Shiva-Go is just another interpretation of Mi-Ka-El or Mer-Ka-BEL the symbolical description of the whole completely human being, consisting of physical, emotional, and spiritual aspect as unique expression of matter-energy-information unity of the Holy Whole, reflected in any of the whole subsystem, as the contributing part of the Whole, regardless how big or how small it seems to be.

This all matches completely the circumstances and facts, which are related to the childbirth of mine, such like described in the first and next story seemingly in bragging style, but completely matching the realm of my life.